My roommate and I have been trying to find someone to buy the end of our contract, and there was a guy from church who is really interested. So I meet the guy and his friend to show them our apartment. His friend is Tall with a capital T. I don’t know if you know this, but Rachel likes her some tall boys. I try to hide my moon eyes as he’s ducking door frames.
After I show them everything, I chat with them in the living room being charming about little things like rent and large household appliances.
Then a thought strikes me and I say, “Oh yeah, we have a parking lot in the back so you don’t have to park on the street with the plebeians.”
Oh. Oh no. Big word. I used a big word and I’m going to regret it.
Tall guy says, “Huh?” His friend laughs.
I say, “Oh, never mind, it’s just a big word.”
"What did you say? Play—"
"Plebeians." Someone please stop me.
"Is that like the theater kids?"
I want to bury my face in my hands for shame, but the guys are still there watching me. “That’s … thespians …”
"So what’s plebeians?"
His friend comes to my rescue. “It’s like common people.”
"Yeah," I say. Someonestopmesomeonestopmeplease. "Like—uneducated people. Like people who don’t know what the word plebeians means."
Oh no. Oh, oh no.
Suffice it to say, he didn’t ask for my number.